Dear Diary

I found an old Diary from freshman year and on Wednesday October 22, 2003 part of the entry went like this...

OMG OMG OMG
I forgot, John Mayer is coming to Iowa. Liz & I have been trying to win tickets to his concert off of KISS 107.5 fm. No luck so far. They are also giving a trip to see him @ Madison Square Garden in New York. Nope. No luck there either.



Little did I know, 7 years later I would finally get to see him. I didn't even have to try and win the tickets off the radio this time!

May 21 2010

I love nights like tonight.
My best friend is amazing.

[Title Here]

I wish you would quit making it so hard and yet so easy for me to get over you.
Keeping on the straight and narrow is the way I live life. I go home alone every night.
You keep it on the wide and crazy. You, you probably never go home alone at night.
I had you and let you go because I had trust issues. Actions are proving time and time again that I made the right choice.
You do things just to make me mad. I try my hardest to not let them upset me.
It doesn't work. You win.
You win every time.
I broke your heart once, you break mine everyday.
I try to tell you not to make mistakes and you think I am stupid and reply with only an 'ugh'.
I gave myself to you, something I promised myself I wouldn't do unless I knew the person was the one.
Tell me I didn't care, I gave up something very dear to me. Tell me I don't care.
I loved you.
I really did.
You've changed. I've grown older. We don't seem to be on the same path as before.
I shed tears.
More then I should.
I think that shows I care.

As Alanis Morrisett said...

"It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced and are you thinking of me when you fuck her"

I need to

scream
cry
punch something
drink
blare really good hardcore music
think
and start over

Ha!

"In life some people trip, but most people fall. And some people turn that trip into a beautiful dance."
Some of the things John Mayer says just kind of makes me smile and giggle.
Why the hell is he on some lame ass skate boarders reality show on MTV right now?
Kind of confused.
Ooohhhh never mind, they are going to a club to get women.
Got it now.

Back in the Day

My best friend and I used to refer to each other as Brooklyn and Jersey because of this movie.
I miss those days.

Denmark

I kind of am proud to say I have part of you running through my veins...
check them out.


New Politics.

New Music Tuesday

I was only able to purchase:
Minus The Bear - Omni -- this band never fails. amazing. check it.

But I also want:
The New Pornographers - Together
Josh Ritter - So Runs the World Away
William Fitzsimmons - Derivatives
Greg Laswell - Take a Bow

Excited

For Tulip Time on Friday and a Girls Day sometime next week. School is over in 24 hours and its time to celebrate with:
Funnel cakes, old friends and relaxation time!

Childhood Memories

I used to listen to this song over and over when I was little.

I always wanted a 'Tall Paul'

Calm Down

THIS IS IN RESPONSE TO MY RANTIN MAJOR BLOG:

Seems my blog that I wrote in about five minutes because I was upset that I had not been able to do fun things for awhile due to school, is causing some uproar.

Not going to lie, I find it amusing.

I did not say "every single person in my town only drinks beer and is only friends with people who drink and does not care about school"

In fact, I know a few awesome people who go to school, are serious about it, and still find time to party during finals.

I am jealous of them. I can not do that. No matter how much my body tells me to just go have fun, my mind won't let me.

So, before everyone goes and gets their panties in a bunch, just take a breath. It will be okay. They were just my opinions at that moment. This is what blogspot is for. To write about what you feel. I wrote what I felt. You can disagree with me, just know that I tend to write things in the moment and disagree with them down the road.

I am allowed to do this.

Discouraged

So I did my first group interview ever at Bath & Body Works the other day. I did not get the job. Why? I have no real reason, but I have my ideas.

1. I have a tattoo
2. I have a facial piercing
3. I did not work at Shags and make it sound like I am the most awesome girl to ever walk the planet.

It is against their codes to have piercings and tattoos. This is not 1952, its 2010. More then half the population of twenty some year olds have tattoos. You can not discriminate against something that is so common in society.

Another thing, group interviewing is completely pointless. What can a manager get out of...

"My name is ________. I am 21 years old. A soon to be senior majoring in Elementary Education and Early Childhood Education. I am very fun and easy going and I love my music. I have worked at Hy Vee and a Teen Club, so I have worked with all sorts of costumers. I got to know all my customers and knew what they wanted when they walked in the door. I think I would work great at Bath & Body because I love to help people and think it would be a great place to grow within a company."

Wanting to know our names, age, schooling and one sentence about why we would be good at a job is nothing to go off of. One can not really get to know a person from 6 short sentences they say about themselves. What I got from the other 6 people there...well nothing. I could not tell you which one would work great at B&B. All I got was two were psych majors, one was a liberal arts major, one an education major and two were out of college. Oh and one of the girls thinks she is all that because she worked at Shags.

If they were to do a real interview they would have found out more about each one of us. They would have been able to see that I am definitely qualified to work at their store. I am just very upset with the whole interview process done at Bath & Body works. Just does not seem right.

I have never been to an interview that the manager doing the hiring wanted to know the most pointless information about us. The information we gave mostly had nothing to do with working.

I kind of hope I never have to do a group interview again. If I do, I hope the questions are more job related then personal life related.

Life is Unfair.

Why is it bad things happen to good people?

I can not seem to grasp what has been going on to some of the nicest and best people that I have met.
They are all very strong people, so I know they will get through it all. I just think it is so unfair.

cancer
cancelled future
car crash
death of a mom & dad

R-A-N-T M-A-J-O-R

Yesterday my mom and I were looking at my yearbook, finding people, then facebook stalking them. I came to a realization that I already knew, but for some reason really became present yesterday. I am one of the only people from my whole town that doesn't either: go to the bar every other night or get drunk every night. All the kids who hated each other in high school now hang out because they have nothing else to do but drink beer. Its sad that friendships in the town are based around beer. Kids couldn't make it in college so they come back home, get fat and waste their lives away.
I have my priorities straight and my life half way in order. The past two weeks I have been studying my ass off for finals because I am serious about my future and want good things to happen in my life. The rest of the world is out at the bars, or partying in living rooms. I have my nose in a book and they have their mouths around a beer bottle. I feel like I have no time to eat, breathe, or sleep, let alone go out get drunk and mingle with people who I could really care less about.
Sometimes I wish that I was able to put school off and act as if it were no big deal. I can't though. I see where the world is going and for kids my age, its not going somewhere good. To get a job once I graduate will be close to impossible, even with a degree. It used to be if you had a degree there were more then enough jobs to go around. Now, a degree almost means nothing. However, if I am working towards a degree, I might as well get it with the feeling of satisfaction of knowing I did my best to earn it. That the thousands upon thousands of dollars I spent were not wasted by getting Cs in all my classes due to my irresponsibleness of drinking every night.
Maybe I was just brought up different. I was brought up in a household where school was important and the party scene wasn't. I think I am grateful for that. It will take me far in life.


Anyways, that was my rant for the day. Time to study more. Hope you all enjoy your beer :)