Invisible Children

If you can watch this documentary and have it not rip at your heart and make you tear up, you don't have a heart.
This is my dream.  To help them.  To go to Africa and make a difference.  To help stop the pain.  If even if its only for a day, an hour, a minute.  I will...one day.

Bahaha

I love this kid.  So bummed I had no one to go with me to Iowa City the other day to see him. AAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDD just found out like 30 seconds ago that he was in Ames tonight. Could have gone. Damn it!!!!

3 times in 1 year.

April 21, 2010

October 20, 2010

October 25, 2010

Together We Will See What We Can Find

Do any girls like the last person you kissed?   That is pretty obvious.

Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?   Not these days.  You have to be pretty special to make me smile.

When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?    No idea.

Do you think you can last for an hour without talking?   I haven't talked since last night.  So, yes.

Will this weekend be a good one?   It will be a drunk one!

Have you ever thought “I want to be with this person forever”?   Yes.  That was a mistake.

How was last night?   I was alone the entire night.  Too much alone time to think about everything.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?   Quite a few.

What’s your favorite drink? Water.  or Captain and Coke.

How did you sleep last night?   Pretty good for once.

Who was the last person you texted before you went to sleep last night?    Philip.

Aside from waking up, what was the first thing you did this morning?   Went to the bathroom.

What does your last text say?  Halloween costumes that involve fake mustaches:go! (help!)

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?   Survive the hangover that I think will be happening.

Plan on getting drunk or high today?   Drunk.  Really drunk.  

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?   Neither works for me.  So I don't know.

Is there someone that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess, and still feel comfy?   A few people.

Where did you go in a car last?   Umm I haven't driven my car in like three days.  I can't remember.  I think night class.

What did you do yesterday?   Made cookies.  Chilled.

How many text messages are in your inbox? 224.

Are you texting anyone?  Nope.

What were you doing 5 hours ago? Dreaming a weird dream.

Do you still talk to your friends from elementary school? Kenzie of course.

What are you wearing? Yoga pants, white tank.

Who was the last person to text you? Besides twitter, Lauren.

Is the last person that you had a conversation with a male or a female?  Female.

Where was your default picture taken? Which one?    Facebook- Vaudeville Mews. Blogger- Can't even remember what picture it is. Twitter-In my room at home.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? I didn't get invited to Pressure Drop.

Is there anybody you’re disappointed in right now?   Oh boy, yes.

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?   It can mean many different things depending on what mood im in.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?  Hide them.  It's like my job.

Are you happy?   No.

Are you a morning person or a night person? I can be both.

Do you want to get married?  Eh I guess.  Not for a really long time though.

Have you ever gotten attached to someone you knew was going to be hard to leave? I never thought they would leave.  

Is it awkward when you run into your ex?   Oh lord.  It hasn't happened, but it might soon.  It will be the most awkward moment of my life I am sure.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you?  Of course. She is their niece.  

Are you afraid of falling in love? I actually am.

Who was the last male to kiss your cheek?   Jon.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?  Yes.

Do you act differently around the person you like?   Not really.

Do you remember who you liked in grade seven?   Alex, Jake, Taylor, Stephan...do I need to go on?

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t?   Just the grenade at the bar awhile ago.  Otherwise no.  Its part of growing up.  Youre supposed to kiss people.

Are there any relationships you wish could have lasted longer?   Yes.

You get kissed tonight?   I might, I tend to make out with people at bars.  Not good!

Has anyone told you they would never leave and left?   Yes.

Is your hair up? Negative.

Is your phone right beside you? Yes.

Have you ever had a difficult relationship?   Yep.

Ever driven into the ghetto to buy drugs? Nope.

Can you read other people’s expressions? I like to think I am pretty good at it.

Have you ever hugged someone named Josh?   I sure have.

When was the last time something bothered you?  Right now.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night? Hours.

When is your birthday? September 30.

Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? At the Fossil store.

What do the majority of people in your life call you?  Sarah.  or Punkin.

When was the last time you were out of state for more than a day and why?  Illinois to see my brother.

Whens the next time you will kiss someone on the lips?   Like I said earlier.  Possibly tonight, but hopefully not.

Anything good happening tomorrow? I doubt it.

Is there anyone that you would do absolutely anything for?   There are a handful.

Are you dating the last person you talked to?  Negative.

Who was the last person you talked to in person?  Rachel.

Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in 6 months?   Doubt it.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yes.

When is the next time you’ll see your best friend?  I will see one when she gets home in an hour or so.  

Silence is Sexy

Your plastic dreams won't last for long and I'm playing my part by being strong.

October 29, 2010

I would give anything to go back to the way things were.  Back to to May 22nd, before things became complicated and all sorts of messed up.  I'm scared things in my life will never be the same now.

More T-Hilton

Playing my absolute favorite song.
Its actually about a girl from Iowa, hence why he says "If you want to kiss someone else, you gotta go back to Iowa"







Brand new song about his relationship with his girlyfriend, Megan.  

Life Lesson

Never date a ....

Who was once in one of your favorite.....

That since 16 you have been awesome.....

because things will turn out bad.

Back.

After two weeks of not having a computer, I am going to be blogging all night long.
So much to say.
So much to write.
Oh how I have missed thee.

21st Birthday

These two made my 21st birthday so much fun.  I miss them.  A recreation of this night is needed.

Pre Halloween

Sometimes I can be really conceded and take a million pictures of myself.  Trying out my hair for my halloween costume.  

iPod shuffle and stories

Apparently my iPod knew how crappy my life has been this week so it decided to cheer me up in some ways and make me sad in others.  I put my iPod on shuffle on the way to and from class today and this is what I heard and the stories that go with them:


Band/Song:  The Good Life - Your Birthday Present
Story:  Lauren and I were and sometimes still are obsessed with this talented Omaha band and we were dying to see them.  Luckily enough, a few years back 2007 maybe?  they came to our little Vaudeville Mews and played a terrific show with Georgie James.  One of the best shows I have been too.  Small venue, small crowd and up close and personal with Tim Kasher.  What more can you ask for?

Band/Song:  Chiodos - I Didn't Say I was Powerful, I Said I was a Wizard
Story:  2006 at the House of Bricks Chiodos came and Lauren, Kenzie, maybe Shauna? and I went to see the then amazing lineup that made this band.  We were standing near the front during their set in which I looked longingly at Craig Owens because I thought he was drop dead gorgeous and a brilliant lyricist.  After the show, we were just chillin by the bar when Craig came up to me and started talking about how he saw me during their set and loved that I was wearing a Modern Life is War sweatshirt.  He then proceeded to tell me that he had caught them out in LA not that long ago and asked if I had ever seen them live.  I remember laughing and saying, "yeah, I've seen them a few times." (What an understatement).  I got my picture with him and then Kenzie asked me why I took a picture with a stranger.  Classic Kenzie :)

Band/Song:  Saosin - I Never Wanted Too
Story:  I was 16, spending every freaking weekend at the House of Bricks with my gang and one night our beloved Saosin (Cove as singer, not Anthony) were playing.  I don't really remember much of the show.  However, after the show we were all chilling outside and Cove comes out, stonned out of his mind, and started talking to us.  I was super shy back then and was scared to talk to him.  When we were getting ready to leave I finally decided to tell Cove the show was amazing.  I walked away after I said it and halfway down the sidewalk Cove yells back at me and tells me thank you and waves.

Band/Song:  Modern Life Is War - First and Ellen
Story:  I do not even know what story to tell.  I've known these boys for 5 1/2 years and there has been awesome and fun times and sad times and everything in between.  I guess one of my favorite nights was the practice space night.  Lauren is the only one that knows the story and would appreciate it but all I have to say is...Peeing outside, tractor tires, screw drivers, talking about how our parents don't understand,  "Should I Stay or Should I Go", and my stairs.  

Band/Song: Breath Carolina - The Birds and The Bees
Story:  Senior year maybe?  Sydney and I went to see The Secret Handshake and these fellows opened up for them.  Before the show started a random dude came up to us, looked at us and said "hello pretty ladies"  gave us hugs and went on his way.  With no idea who the dude was we laughed at it.  Soon the show started and this random dude was up there singing his little heart out.

Band/Song:  Dashboard Confessional - Reason to Believe
Story:  Junior year Dashboard, a beloved band of mine since I was about 12 came to Iowa and I was finally old enough to drive to shows.  So, Lauren, Rachel, Laura and I went to this lovely show.  It was cold out, there was a thin layer of snow on the ground and we were wearing our 'cutest' outfits thinking maybe Chris would see us from up on stage.  There were no cameras allowed in the venue and I tried sneaking mine it twice and got caught both times.  I had to run back to the car and put it away for good and then finally got into the venue.  Halfway through Dashboard's set, Chris says to the bodyguards, "If they have cameras, who cares.  Let them take pictures!"  I was so mad.  But the show was beyond amazing.

Stop

asking me if I am okay.
I'm not. I'm not going to be for awhile.
Used and tossed.
If you know what that feels like, you'll know I'm not okay.

So true.

"This isn't what I want but I'll take the high road. Maybe its because I look at everything as a lesson or because I don't want to walk around angry. Or maybe its because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept. Things we don't want to know but have to learn and people we cant live without but have to let go." - JJ on Criminal Minds

Love this.

JT is the maaan

Check it. Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon rockin it.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - A History of Rap: Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake & The Roots - Video - NBC.com

This Time For Africa

I want this shirt. Really bad.

this time for africa 2010 world cup waka waka t shirt from Zazzle.com

Inception

Everyone knows my undying love for Leo.  I can not believe it took me this long to go watch Inception.
Not sure if I want to go to sleep after just watching this.  Kind of felt like I was on drugs after watching it.
It was a great movie, don't get me wrong.  But damn, talk about messing with one's mind.

In the words of JMo, Can't Leonardo DiCaprio make a movie with a real ending?

Crush

I kind of have a huge crush on Michael Franti.
This song has been on repeat since his album came out last week.
Such a great message.

Why You So Obsessed With Me?

Oh thats right, because you're jealous.
I would be too if I didn't have amazing friends.
Great times.
And an amazing mom and second mom.
But, I have all those.
I am one happy and lucky girl.

Photos by Lauren, Missy and my Momma.

Best VMA Award Intro Ever.

Oh facebook...

Usually you seem to know everything about my life somehow.  You always are putting adds on my homepage that have to do with my life.  But when it comes to who I need to "reach out" to, you're not so smart.

My favorite man.

My grandpa was really good looking.  He looked like a movie star.  I keep this picture in my room knowing that he is always looking over me and protecting me no matter what I am going through.

I was his blondie and he was my best friend.  I used to get him his glasses, give him 'slobbery' kisses, steal his jelly bellys and help him pick up prunes that fell from the tree.  He would unplug the phone in his office so L and I could play Saved By The Bell and fake call Zach Morris.  He used to tell us kids that he was going to "Take us back to the Indians"  One time, Lauren and I really wanted to watch a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie so he went to the movie store and got us one, when he got home it didn't work so he drove back to the video store and got us another one.  We used to listen to Frank Sinatra and he would sing every word.  When I would spend the night, I wouldn't be able to go to bed without a huge hug from him.  I had this nail polish from Victoria's Secret once, it was called Waterfall, I was so excited to show him the new color.  He was working on the clock hanging on the wall by the guest room and he told me "I hope I never drink water that color, but it's very pretty."  I giggled and ran away.  He never had a favorite grandchild, but made each of us feel like we were his favorite.  I could sit on his lap for hours watching tv or reading with him.  Too this day, I can remember his smell.  Once in awhile an old man will pass me on the street and I will smell his cologne.  In an instant I am taken back to all these memories and many more.  

 I miss him dearly.

Pre night class boredom.

amazingly new questions, you down?
So down.

the last person you kissed ever give you a hickey?
Nope.  Hickies are for skanks.

did you hold hands with someone of the opposite sex today?
Nope.

more attractive: kisses out of nowhere, or when you know?
Out of nowhere.  They are more special that way.

when you hold hands do you interlock fingers?

 Yes.

when is the next time you will hang out with someone on your top friends?
What is this myspace?  Umm right now.  My roommate is here.

is there someone you’d like to hang out with and just talk?
My best friend, I need her here right now.

first person to speak to you in 2010?
Someone who shall be unnamed.

who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?
Probably Lauren.

have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it?
Yes.

are you wearing anything that doesn’t belong to you?
Everything is actually mine today.

what woke you up this morning?
A door being shut

what was the last drink you had?
Water.

did anything annoy you today?
Annoy isn't the correct word.

what were you doing this morning at 8?
My bed.

have you ever had stitches?
Just on my gums when I had teeth removed.

do you believe ex’s can be friends?
I'm friends with one ex.  Otherwise no, someone always gets hurt.

do you remember who you liked /loved on new years?
Unfortunately.

what is on your mind?
How the fuck can someone lie to you so much and feel okay about doing so?

do you think things will change in the next few months?
Yes, today was the start of a new me.

were you single on your last birthday?
Yes I was.

is there a person from the past that you would like to talk to?
Does my grandpa count?

do you think anyone has feelings for you?
There is one.  The others just lie about it.

do you regret letting someone walk out of your life?
Ha, don't ask me that today.

if you could get a new cell phone right now, which would you choose? 
They all suck in some way or another.

do you care if people hate you?
Not really.

favorite memory of the day?
Singing Adam Lambert in the shower this morning.

last person you kissed, have you had sex with them?
Mhmm.

do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
Of course I love my daddy!!

who is someone that can always make you feel better?
Lauren, mom, Rachel.

what is your relationship status?
Not single but not completely taken.

who was the last person to come to your house?
Probably Mike.

look behind you, what do you see?
A wall.

what did you eat for lunch today?
I haven't ate today.  Yeah, I know its 4:30 pm.

the last song you heard?
Take the Fall by Brendan James.

does anyone know your myspace password?
I don't think I even know it anymore.

how late did you stay up last night and why?

11, becaue thats when I went to sleep.

last person to give you a hug?
My mom.

if you had to choose, a million dollars or to be able to change a regret?
A million bucks I suppose.

how long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?
Two seconds.

was the first person you talked to today male or female?
Female.

have you ever kissed anybody who’s name starts with an a,b,d,j,c,k,m, t?
A. D, J, M, and T.  

what do you think of people who have sex before marriage?
Its a  personal choice.  In my opinion you should care about the person you have sex with, but that isn't always the case.  So whatever, who am I to judge?

have you ever met someone who turned out to be amazing?
Yes.

do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
I could never hate my daddy.

what were you doing at 2am last night?
Tossing and turning.

is the last person you kissed mad at you?
Nope.

is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
There are a few special people.

do you like to cuddle?
Oh love it.

what do you currently hear at the moment?
The Bridges

have you ever cried during a movie?
I cry at everything, even if its not sad.

how many piercings have you had in your life?
8 but I only have 7 now.

do you use hearts like this < 3 
Nope.  I used it once in a blog.  otherwise i stay away from using things like that.

who else is in the room with you?
Rachel.

Aftermath

This song has been on repeat since 11:30 this morning. Two straight hours so far.
I'll be alright. I know I will. It will take awhile to realize this. I just have to remember I'm not alone.

Adam Lambert.

Not the greatest pictures due to my camera sucking, but oh my goodness.  The way this boy moves.  Wow.  Thats all I have to say.  He is purely amazing beyond belief. 

 

Sleep.

I wish it came easier for me.  Advil and Tylenol PM do nothing for me.
Insomnia is a bitch.

Will I?

Every single word that comes out of your mouth is a lie.  I'm so sick of it.  I let my heart go back to thinking you were the one.

When did I become so naive with things in life?  As I sit here writing this, I am giving a friend relationship advice.  I seem to be able to give good advice but can never follow it myself.  I wish someone would slap some sense into me.  I need to be shook and screamed at.  I need a huge ass wake-up call.  I thought I got one this summer, but I guess it wasn't big enough.  When will I learn?  Will I learn?