Admiration.

I think Craig Owens and I are meant to be best friends. Too bad we have only met once. All the words he writes are exactly what and how I feel about things in my life. I think I am in love with his talented mind.




"Hey, I saw you during our set. I noticed your sweatshirt. I love Modern Life is War. I saw them a few weeks back" - Craig
"Oh, Awesome. Yeah, they are good. Can I get a picture with you?" - Me
"You want a picture with me? How about I get a picture with you?" - Craig

I'm pretty sure this picture was taken sometime in 2006 at The House of Bricks.




Jammin:
Products of Property - Craig Owens ft. Stephen Christian
All Based on a Storyline - Craig Owens

Possibly? Maybe? Eh, Who Knows.

"Maybe all the boys before weren't your type. Maybe you just never gave the right guys the chance"

you know what, I am beginning to think she was right. moms are always right though, aren't they? ha!

Me to a Tee.

Whoever sent this into Post Secret...I am jealous I didn't do it first.

M.O.F.

Monsters of Folk are playing in Omaha on October 28th.
Pleeeeeeeease, someone go with me.
You would be crazy to pass up Conor Oberst, M. Ward, and Jim James all on the stage at the same time.



Jammin to the lovely sounds of:

Say Please - Monsters of Folk
The Sandman, The Breakman, and Me - Monsters of Folk
Dear God - Monsters of Folk

Visions.

You will be the one I miss the most. However, I have yet to see you in over a week. I had visions of my last week in this town as being different than this. I had visions of us living out our last few days of summer together, like old days. I had visions of us squeezing the last bit of sun out of the day before the moon set high. These visions were quite lovely, yet they were only visions. My last week here and I have been in bed before eleven each night texting him until I fall asleep. My last week here and I am living inside my four walls. Summer has come to an end and dear, I did not spend enough time with you this summer. It's our own faults, we had big dreams that faded to quickly. I regret that now. I am wishing I had spent more of my last summer at home with the one who has been my rock, my shoulder to lean on and my other half for almost 21 years now. I am scared to death to leave. I am afraid things will change. I have always felt like this, that is why those visions were so lovely to me. I hate growing up and growing apart. I pray to God this does not happen with us. I pray to God I will always have visions of us. And I pray to God those visions will happen and not stay in my mind as this summers' did.

The Week

Is going too fast and its only Tuesday.

Monday - Did nothing. Didn't even leave the house.

Tuesday - Lunch with Miss Kylie

Wednesday - Centerville to see Kenzie!

Thursday - Hair apt. and Dinner with Grandma and Lauren.

Friday - Nothing.

Saturday - Packing

Sunday - More packing.


Ahh, I'm so stressed. I still need to see Kara, Jon and hopefully Sydney before I leave.

Pretty much...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts.
And we are never, ever the same.

- I don't know who said this quote, but it couldn't be more true.

6 1/2 days to go.

In one week, I will not be in town anymore.
Just incase you were all wondering.
Or caring.

Lost!

It was two years ago. We have been through so many ups and downs in our relationship. There are times I hate you and there are times I swear I still think I love you. Lately, I have been thinking about you a lot. Not a day goes by that there isn't something that reminds me of you. I was really strong a month ago. I let her take the picture of you and I down in my car and stuff it in the glove box. Today, I caved and put it back in its place. Today I put the picture with our smiling faces back up so I am reminded of what was. Dear, you have no idea how much I miss you. At times I think it is best we were never anything. Days like today, I think its the worst mistake we ever made, not being together. I believe in fate though. I believe I meet people for a reason. I believe the people I meet and still talk to are there for a reason, a good one. I believe I have been thinking about you a lot for a reason. I'm not sure what that reason is, but I hope it is a good one. Please don't let me down.



Listening to over and over:
Lost! - Coldplay

Listening Station:

Boys Boys Boys - Lady Gaga
Beautiful, Dirty, Rich - Lady Gaga
Rooftops and Invitations - Dashboard Confessional
Cat & Mouse - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Sometime Around Midnight - Airborne Toxic Event
Thanks to You - Copeland
Unusual You - Britney Spears
Lover I Don't Have to Love - Bright Eyes
Ten Women - Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Heartbroke - The Good Life
I'm Not For You - Good Old War

Bitter? Probably.

I am so sick of reading about everyones amazing love lives. I don't care about it, really. Stop posting it everywhere and flaunting it. So you're happy, great. The whole world doesn't need to constantly hear about it. The whole world doesn't need to see it either. Posting a million pictures of you and your lover gets old after awhile. Maybe I am just bitter cause I don't have it and most likely never will. (yes, i really think i never will) But really, it gets annoying. So everyone on MySpace, Facebook and Twitter, lets take your love life flaunting down a notch. Thanks.

The words I wish I could write.

Pretty much amazing.
Just go listen to it.


http://drakesizzle.tumblr.com/post/109025892/an-audio-blog-the-day-i-learned-love-was-a

It has come to the point.

I am watching Hocus Pocus and it is not October, it is July.
I could watch this movie everyday.

I thought this was pretty damn blogworthy.

Dates.

I will always rememember....

4 years, 1 month, 8 days.

2 years, 10 days.

1 year, 11 months, 16 days.

1 year, 9 months, 22 days.

1 year, 2 months, 27 days.

1 year, 10 days.

1 year, 4 days.

10 days.

ago, today. I met people who changed me, kicked a habbit, those same people left, and good things came to an end.

July 22, 2009

"You desperately want to be free of the self-imposed limits that have been holding your creativity back. The Sun's entry into your social 11th House can shine the supportive light of friendship on you, encouraging you to be bold. Risky business is not advised, but decisive action that is backed up by a sound plan can be a winning combination."


man, I love this one for today. it is so spot on. it is like it knows me. new friends are on the way and hopefully they will be the supportive light i need!

Tunes.

Just a few tunes I have been enjoying lately:


Fireflies - Owl City
Declaration - David Cook
The City Kills - The Last Call Casualties
Washed By The Water - NeedtoBreathe
Knock You Down - Keri Hilson ft. Kanye West and Ne-yo
Peaceful Mind - All Rattle and Dust
Your Hand in Mine - Explosions in the Sky
Rainiest Day of Summer - Elizabeth & the Catapult

If this is home, why does it feel so alone?

Sometimes she wishes what people said to her were true. She wishes they meant what they said. She wishes they had time for her. She feels as if she has been forgotten. She leaves in less then a month now. No one will notice. She sits at home every night. No one calls with a "Want to go somewhere?" The answer from her would most likely be "No" due to the fact she can't stand this town and its feel sorry for me people any longer. It would be the gesture that would make her happy.

If the things people said to her were true. She would be on a plane out west for a few days in a week or two. She would be going to see her favorite band. She would be chillin in Iowa City. She would be with him. Or him. Or him.

If the things people said to her were true. She would be road tripping. She would be relaxing. She would be laughing. She would be with her. Or her. Or her.

Instead.
She is alone.
Alone.
Alone.

She is starting feel like everyone in this town. Feel sorry her! Feel sorry for her! Feel sorry for her!

Do not feel sorry though.
She will be okay.
She will be alright.
She will be great...
In time.

Last Night...

I went to David Cook with my mommy and friends.
We had so much fun.
I love my mom.

Just as Guilty

Yesterday, while working, I got asked a question, "So, do you believe Michael Jackson was guilty of the horrible things he did?" I replied, very seriously, "No, I don't think he was guilty". I am pretty sure I got the most evil and and worst hate look I have ever got in my life. I kind of just laughed at their look while they shook their head in disgust. I am sorry, but you asked me and I replied.

It's not like I think what he did was right, letting a young boy sleep in his bed. But I do not believe he molested them. I just think he had a deep love for children and it was taken the wrong way. My family was talking about it and we think if there had been a woman figure living in the house, non of these accusations would have happened.

It seems as if no one can look past what they hear to look deep inside people to find the truth. Yeah, Michael was a little different from the rest of us. Honestly, I think I would be too if I had to live the life he lived. The guy went through so much growing up. It is hard to even imagine what life must have been like for him. The media really pounded the fact that he was charged for molestation into the ground. But, what about all the money he spent on children who were less fortunate? What about all the time he spent going to hospitals and visiting these children, where people witnessed him being nothing more then amazing to the children? Where was the media to pound that side of Michael Jackson into the ground?

Who cares if he had plastic surgery. Who cares if he took pills to bleach his skin, or if it really was his skin disease. Who cares if he made the dimple in his chin. Who cares about all of that? It is non of our business. It was not personally effecting any one of us, only him. If he was happy with doing all of that, so let it be. Who cares if he put masks on his children to hide their identity. It was probably one of the smartest things to do. Who cares if he is or is not the biological father to his children, they are his and he is theirs. He was all they knew and they were his world. Just let them be.

This is what I believe. I guess if people want to look at me as if I am crazy for that, then go ahead. I suppose I am a bit like Michael in that sense, I want to see the good in people and not the bad. I want the world to understand that there is a lot of love out there and it needs to be given to people who do not receive it like they should. If that has become a crime, I am just as guilty as he was.

Watching parts of his memorial just shows how great of a man he was. The friends that spoke highly of him highlighted his greatness, kindness and love for the world. It is sad to think that the world has just slightly begun to realize this after his death and not while he was still here.

He was the greatest entertainer to live. He has accomplished more in a life time then anyone has or probably ever will. The man sold over 750 million albums. It's a feat most likely no one will ever do for a long, long time.

Michael Jackson was, is, and always will be...the King of Pop.




Jammin to:
Black or White - Michael Jackson
They Don't Care About Us - Michael Jackson
Childhood - Michael Jackson
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson
You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

Horoscope.

They make me laugh sometimes.

"You have many interesting ideas about love today and you eagerly follow the connections in your mind from one pleasant thought to another. You are able to let your imagination take you on quite a ride, but sooner or later you remember that there is a difference between your daydreams and reality. Nevertheless, don't be in too much of a hurry to return to earth. As long as you are aware of what's happening, there's no harm in exploring your fantasies."