Dreams.

That is all they really are. They are what we wish would happen. That we can only hope and pray will happen. We all wish dreams would come true, but we all know they never will. Its just a figment of the imagination that we like to hold onto hoping that one day life will truly end up so wonderful. So wonderful just like we conjured up in our brains while we were warm fast asleep in bed. Wake up precious ones, dreams will never happen.

Xoxo

Don't you hate it when you really need to say something to someone and you plan it out perfectly in your head while your in the shower but you know you will never ever be able to say it to their face?
Yeah, I hate it too.

Oh Leo.

This man never ceases to amaze me.
I am kind of in love with everything he does.

Pressure Drop.

I kind of adore the people that surround me in my life.

My weekends are amazing sometimes.

Watch what you all missed out on!

Yours truly makes a short cameo at :32

It Never Gets Easier

"All I really need to find is one short clever line to pinpoint my disgust its always just too much or not enough"

I am addicted to this song. Its so spot on for my life right now.

Cover What You Can

This is your fault Lauren. I wanted to go to bed, then I lurked your damn blog.

Another one coming tomorrow!

Got to love surveys.

Be honest, who texted you last? - JD

Do you sleep with the door open or closed? - Slightly Cracked

Did anyone see your last kiss? - Maybe the neighbors

Do you drink tea? - Iced

Have you ever kissed someone older than you? - Yes, all the time.

Do you have plans for tomorrow? - Working.

What’s worse: dry skin or chapped lips? - Chapped lips

Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together? - I would throw up.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation? - California

Do you want to get married? - In the future, yes.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants? - Old cheerleading shorts

So, what if you married the last person you texted? - We had planned on getting married once...

Last person you told a secret to? - Lauren probably.

What are you listening to at the moment? - One More Day by Lydia

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? - Jeff's bed.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? - Lauren, my grandpa, my mom and a select few others.

Are relationships ever really worth it? - Yes, no matter how bad they may seem at the time.

Do you believe in love? - Yes.

When was the last time you saw your father? - A few hours ago.

Have any memories that you’d like to forget? - Like seeing my father almost die? Yes.

Is there someone you really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff? - Lauren, Kenzie, Mom.

Have you ever been called prince or princess? - My mom calls me princess.

Do you think teenagers can be in love? - Not if we are talking 14 and 15 but 18 and 19, yes.

How fast does your mood change? - In the blink of a freaking eye.

Do you have any condoms in your room? - In my apartment room, not this room.

Do you need to say anything to someone?- Just some guy in Des Moines that needs an ass kicking. (This is Lauren's answer, but it fits oh so well)

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? - Mhmm, that I do.

How are you feeling? - Tired.

Do you want someone to call you right now? - No, its bed time.

What do you always take with you? - Chapstick and phone.

Is your bed comfortable? - You bet.

Would you say you’re an understanding person? - At times, yes.

Are you generally a happy person? - Yes.

Who’s in your profile picture with you? - Me, myself and I.

Were you single on Valentines Day? - Nope.

What is the last movie you watched? - Shutter Island.

Do you listen to songs when you’re done? - When I'm done doing what?

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? - Far too long some nights.

Are you talkative? - Nope.

Next vacation you’re going on? I'm not privileged enough to go on vacations.

Were you single last summer? Yep yep!

-----

I have so many blogs saved in my edit folder from the past week.

I can't seem to bring myself to post any of them.

This has become such a boring blog.

I need to keep up with it.

I always feel better whenever I post something.

Even if its something pointless...

Like this.

Music Wednesday

Bands that I think you must check out because they make me feel good...

or because summer wouldn't be the same without them.

-Here We Go Magic

-Twin Sister

-Indian Jewelry

-Wolf Parade

-FM Belfast

-Junip

-Drake

-Katy Perry

-Peter Tosh

-Rancid

Love this kid

True friends never really leave in soul and spirit. Anton and I hadn't seen each other in over a year and a half. Get us back together and its just like old times. I love it!

Spring Break 2007 in Good Ole Pella!

Summer 2010 Grill Out at Red Rock!

New

The new chapter in my life is going to be amazing.

Positive outlook on life starts now.

I love the few friends I have in my life, they are amazing.

3 years.

The hardest part about closing a chapter on your life is comprehending how much it really effected your life. Over the past three years I went through an emotional roller coaster. Ups and downs along the way. Some of the best times in my life and some of the worst times in my life. It was a three year relationship that I thought could conquer anything. A three year relationship that would continue for many years to come. Then, two days ago he closed the book. So, I have to learn how to deal with the chapter being over and realizing there is no more to the chapter. Its done. No one will write more in it. The author ended it.


I can no longer:

Listen to When You're Gone, Sit and Sink, Konstantine, Hey Soul Sister, or Boston without a tear forming in the corner of my eye.
Cook grilled cheese.
Order Cheese Bread.
Play Phase 10 or Mad Gab.
See an Illinois license plate and keep my cool.
Drink Bud Light.
Look at a baseball and not think of him.
Forget all the hurtful words said to me.
Say 'I love you' so easily.
Believe what someone tells me.

Pro vs. Con

I made a Pro and Con list once.
It was right.
They are probably one of the best things to do.

Fact:

In 2009, 97,751 albums were released. Only 12 sold over a million.

Dear Diary

I found an old Diary from freshman year and on Wednesday October 22, 2003 part of the entry went like this...

OMG OMG OMG
I forgot, John Mayer is coming to Iowa. Liz & I have been trying to win tickets to his concert off of KISS 107.5 fm. No luck so far. They are also giving a trip to see him @ Madison Square Garden in New York. Nope. No luck there either.



Little did I know, 7 years later I would finally get to see him. I didn't even have to try and win the tickets off the radio this time!

May 21 2010

I love nights like tonight.
My best friend is amazing.

[Title Here]

I wish you would quit making it so hard and yet so easy for me to get over you.
Keeping on the straight and narrow is the way I live life. I go home alone every night.
You keep it on the wide and crazy. You, you probably never go home alone at night.
I had you and let you go because I had trust issues. Actions are proving time and time again that I made the right choice.
You do things just to make me mad. I try my hardest to not let them upset me.
It doesn't work. You win.
You win every time.
I broke your heart once, you break mine everyday.
I try to tell you not to make mistakes and you think I am stupid and reply with only an 'ugh'.
I gave myself to you, something I promised myself I wouldn't do unless I knew the person was the one.
Tell me I didn't care, I gave up something very dear to me. Tell me I don't care.
I loved you.
I really did.
You've changed. I've grown older. We don't seem to be on the same path as before.
I shed tears.
More then I should.
I think that shows I care.

As Alanis Morrisett said...

"It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced and are you thinking of me when you fuck her"

I need to

scream
cry
punch something
drink
blare really good hardcore music
think
and start over

Ha!

"In life some people trip, but most people fall. And some people turn that trip into a beautiful dance."
Some of the things John Mayer says just kind of makes me smile and giggle.
Why the hell is he on some lame ass skate boarders reality show on MTV right now?
Kind of confused.
Ooohhhh never mind, they are going to a club to get women.
Got it now.

Back in the Day

My best friend and I used to refer to each other as Brooklyn and Jersey because of this movie.
I miss those days.