Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fading into the past.

As I sit here, in my room, I can't help but to be reminded of my past. To my right there is a picture of me and kenzie. We are sitting at the state wrestling meet our junior year. We had such big smiles and bright eyes. We had some great times at state. This is the first year we didn't go for years. On the board next to that picture there is one of Lauren, Jeff, and I the first day we met. It was June 14 2005. Yes, I remember the date. We were all gross with sweat. Youth was covering our faces. Now, the three of us never hang out, let alone talk. The wall behind me holds the San Francisco poster I bought in 2003 when I visited there with my family. Five years have gone by and I am still determined to live there one day. To my left there are posters hanging. A Lydia one, I got it in 2006 when my old good friend Christina and I went to their show. An Underoath poster from Warped Tour 2006 holds dear memories of standing in a long line to meet them. A JamisonParker poster is next, three shows in one year, with great people whom I adored with all my heart. Lastly, a Modern Life Is War poster. Just the name of the band itself holds some of my dearest memories. I do wish them all well, seeing as we never get the time to catch up or put any effort into doing so. Sea shells decorate shelves reminding me of a great vacation with three 50 year olds and a 60 year old. Best vacation I have ever been on. On the floor there is a picture with the initials j and d sprawled in the sand. It yells at me, taunting me, wanting to be put where it can collect dust. I can't make myself do it though, too hard. A shot glass sits on the floor of my closet. It's Brookes, we used it my junior year after homecoming. Brooke and I got trashed while Jeremy and Shane took care of us. Everything in my room screams past memories at me. At times it makes me happy, at times it makes me want to scream right back asking what happened? Why are we no longer friends? Why must you haunt me every night? Why? Even every new memory I make will soon fade and become another long lost memory.

1 comment:

Lauren. said...

I'm going to miss the boys so much.

They were our escape. They were always what we needed in our lives. Now they'll be gone.