The Great Escape.

It is just around the corner. 48 hours from now and we will be on our way. Oh the freedom is calling my name and I will soon run to it with open arms.

23.

No, this is not about the Jimmy Eat World song.
It is officially September 15, 2008, that means my brother is now 23. In fifteen days I will 20. I am not liking this very much. Chase is so close to graduating college yet it seems like yesterday he graduated high school. In those mere fifteen days, I will no longer be able to call myself a teenager. I should be excited, 380 days until I am 21. But this big 2-0 thing is scaring me. I am grow up way too fast. The real world is hitting me with no mercy. I remember birthdays from when I was little. Chase and I would have parties together because our birthdays were so close. We would invite everyone to our house for cake and presents, lots of presents. These days, its a card and text message wishing a Happy Birthday due to the fact we are all grown up and living in different states. Man, what I would give to go back to birthdays of the past.



Thinking To:

Blessings Be Yours Mister V - Sounds of Animals Fighting
Whatever You Want - T.I.
Oscar the Grouch - The Cool Kids
West Coast Frienship - Owl City

Testing the strong ones.

Last night I:
Smiled.
Felt envy.
Laughed, a true laugh.
Felt jealousy.
Sang Copeland.
Had flashbacks.
Wished.
Worried.
Remembered why I loved them so much.

Sweet Sounds of Fall.

I haven't done a playlist lately
so here it is, its a little bit of new, old, even older, and super old.


5 Years Time - Noah and the Whale
Mr Rock & Roll - Amy MacDonald
Fireflies - Ron Pope
Brightest - Copeland
California - Copeland
Atrophy - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Santa Monica - Savage Garden
The Difference - Matchbook 20
I'm Leaving - Jessey McCartney
Alcohol & Bandages - JamisonParker
Dead on Arrival - Fall Out Boy

The L Word.

Today in class we talked about love. The types of love, the theories of love and expectations of love. My professor told us to think about someone we are in love with or once loved. I sat there and two people came to mind, one stuck out more then the other so I used him. As my professor was describing all three of these categories of love, I couldn't help but have my mind turn back time to when him and I were in each others lives with great force and what he meant to me. I listened as he spoke about how we act when we are in love and how we feel...hearts racing at the sound of their name, sweaty palms, a never ending smile. He then told the class to think of that one person we are in love with or were in love with. Did we fit somewhere into what he was saying? If so, then we had really found love. I smiled, yet it quickly faded because I don't have those feelings anymore. My professor then went on to ask the class if we were no longer with the one we loved, what happened? He left us to ponder that as he dismissed the class. During my whole next class, I tried to figure out what when wrong and why we lost in the game of love. I have yet to figure it out.

Could it be?

What once was, could be relived, if only for a night. Will it happen? Am I letting my hopes get to high? It could be around the corner. Flying back to the fall of '05 in the fall of '08. Only for one night, it would mean the world to us. We can only hope and pray it all follows through.

Six Kinds of Blue.

I can not for the life of me come to grips on what happened to all of us. It was a mere three years ago when we were inseparable. We would go nowhere without the rest of us. This time of year always brings back the memories. I can clearly remember details as if it happened three minutes ago. I was 16, about to turn 17. Lauren was 15, we were all young. So naive to think nothing would ruin the tight bond we all shared.
As I said, I can remember things clearly. I remember waking up an extra ten minutes early to go pick up Lauren, go to Casey's to get breakfast pizza. We would then drive around eating it while smoking and listening as The Spill Canvas filled my car. We would have the windows down as the cool, fall, morning air brushed our fingertips making them red. We would arrive to school smelling of smoke and not caring. Meeting up with Matt in the hallway before classes started planning what we would be doing that night. Meet at Mike's? Go to the Bridge? The Courts? The Church? Maytag park? It was different, yet the same every night. No one got tired of it, or each other. We were a group of seven or eight kids who had the same views on life and loved living it. My white Buick and Mike's big beat up blue van were our ways of transportation to and from shows every other weekend. Copeland blared from our stereos, we would all sing along with so much energy, almost as if we all knew this friendship was too good to be true.
It was just that, too good to be true. We started to grow apart. Girlfriends disrupted our tight knit group. A few of us matured. Some of us got into trouble. We separated, slowly at first, then it became inevitable, we were no longer best friends. The late nights doing illegal things stopped. Phone calls and text messages became sparse, dwindling down to nothing. What once was, was no longer.
Now, I am left to think about the memories, what was, what could have been,and what is.

Fun Facts in Numbers.

One day ago was a day of numbers.

Dad turned 52.
Filled my car for $45.
Drove over 60 miles.
Spent 1 hour in my car driving.
It was 1 year since I was on the cruise.
I got 2 questions wrong on a Marriage test (I'm ready for marriage I am told HA).
I had 4 quizzes.
I had 4 classes.
I sang in front of 9 people, 3 times.
I passed 5 Ohio plates coming home from school.
I passed 7 Illinois plates on the way to school.
I passed 6 Illinois plates coming home from school.
I sent 5 texts messages to Philip while driving home.
I sent 1 text message to Lauren while driving home.
I saw 2 Newton kids in Ankeney.
I made 2 phone calls.
I listened to Copeland's Beneath Medicine Tree 2 times.
I received 3 phone calls from some number I didn't know.
Watched 5 of Mitchell Davis' youtube videos.
Dropped my car keys 2 times while walking to my car.
aaand more importantly it was...
Exactly 3 years since I had made some amazing friends, who I no longer ever see.

Neat huh?